Black Collegian Career Center

Nobody really "likes" rejection, but we can learn to embrace its value

If we are all being honest, nobody really likes rejection. Rejection can strike at the core of our confidence, especially when it comes from people or groups we desire to connect with on a more significant personal or professional level. However, the reality is if you are seeking the highest levels of career excellence, you may never really learn to "like" rejection, but you can learn to "embrace" it as a valuable force in your professional development.

Rejection in the job search process can take place at a networking event when a prospective employer appears uninterested in you, at a career fair, or at any point in the formal interviewing process when the employer verbally or in writing expresses that you are not the best match for their organization. Regardless of the stage in which you are rejected, managing rejection and harnessing its power to motivate you to be a better professional is critical to your future success.

"You CAN have it all, but you can't have it all at once."

Oprah Winfrey, entertainer, executive and global philanthropist, was once quoted as saying, "You CAN have it all, but you can't have it all at once." Winfrey's quote can also be applied to the process of students seeking to enter into today's job market. You may desire to be an "overnight success," and perhaps for a few that will be a reality. But in case Donald Trump doesn't call after you graduate, you will have to engage in a long-term career campaign consisting of continual executive training, education, and development of an excellent work ethic and skill set. You also will have to manage the rejection you will experience along the way.

Even the most talented candidates sometimes don't make the cut

Some of the greatest achievers of our time have had to face rejection in their careers. Consider Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player of all time, who was originally cut from his high school basketball team. Imagine the world of basketball if Jordan would have given up  basketball to be the team mascot! The fact is that even the most talented people in any selection process can find themselves in a position where they may not "make the cut." The key to rejection is not to beat yourself up when it happens, but to embrace the rejection as a "teachable moment" and move forward in developing your talents, skills and professional presentation for the next opportunity.

Reasons some students are rejected. Are you guilty of any of the following?

• Having a poorly written resume or  cover letter
• Turning in materials late
• Being late to the interview
• Having inconsistencies in written materials and interview statements
• Providing insufficient or inaccurate answers to interview questions
• Lacking sufficient knowledge of the employer and the position
• Lacking confidence or being too nervous
• Having unrealistic expectations about salary
• Having unrealistic expectations about advancement
• Wearing inappropriate interview attire or being poorly groomed
• Being too aggressive, rude, or "over-the-top" in responses
• Being too passive or lacking enthusiasm
• Having a lower grade point average than competing candidates
• Lacking leadership and internship experiences
• Violating the employer's "personal space" by leaning on the desk, asking inappropriate personal questions, or touching personal items without asking
• Being unwilling to relocate
• Speaking negatively about a previous employer
• Failing to complete required applications or paperwork
• Receiving poor references from previous employers

Turn your setback into a setup for success

• Remember that rejection in the selection process is not an indictment of your value as a professional. The fact that you were not selected by a particular employer doesn't mean that you will not be the perfect candidate for the next. The good news is that life goes on, and there are many other employers who will be interested in the value you would bring to their organization.  Remember, Michael Jordon was passed over by two teams in the  1984 NBA Draft before he was selected by the Chicago Bulls. Unfortunately, there are a couple of talent scouts who will never live down the fact that they passed up  on recruiting one of the NBA's most dominant players of all times.
• Immediately contact employers who declined to hire you, and ask them in a professional and courteous manner to offer you suggestions for improvement. Failure can be one of life's greatest teachers. Take the opportunity to learn from every interview and selection process; examine areas that you can continually develop, and press on.
• Ask the employer to consider you for future positions. Follow up all rejections with a letter of appreciation and a reminder of your continued interest. Never burn bridges; instead, build a few that you can cross again in the future. Take seriously all feedback provided by an employer about your job search and interviewing performance. We all say and do things that we are not aware of. Discuss your employer's comments with a career development professional who can help you assess the areas that need improvement.
• Practice interviewing with a career development professional to develop your confidence and to improve  your overall interviewing presentation. Also consider recording a mock interview and reviewing it to help you in future presentations.
• Share employer feedback with other mentors in your life. Ask them to give you specific suggestions that can improve your performance when the next opportunity arises.

Move forward!!!

Don't fall into a two-week pity party, and don't become a victim. You've worked too hard to allow that to happen. Instead, learn from your rejection experience, bounce back, talk it through with professionals and mentors – and move on! Remember, there will always be another chance to shine.

New Feature of Interest The Professional Edge Blog with Kim R Wells Career issues, tips and straight-talk from an insider’s view, with Kim R. Wells, noted career columnist and director of Howard University Career Services

Mr. Kim R. Wells is the director of Career Services at Howard University, a strategic diversity and organizational development consultant, and a national freelance writer.